State of Mind
by pikapikatchu
Summary: Greg needs to defend a seven year old case in court. If only he'd remember that case.
1. Chapter 1

**Hello my dear readers! To celebrate the start of Season 14 of our favorite crime show, I'm uploading this short story! There are some spoilers going around that Greg will have to face some legal problems with a case from seven years ago. I allowed myself to take these hints as inspiration for my story and came up with the following. I really hope you like it! And don't worry, I have another story waiting to be uploaded soon!**

**Now enjoy and if you want, let me know what you think!**

**Big Love,**

**pikapikatchu**

* * *

"But were you able to prove that?"

"My report reflects so."

"Did you remember checking it yourself?"

"It says so in the files. I checked her alibi on Monday, and..."

The defense attorney, Ethan Wenham, interrupted Greg. "Do you remember doing it yourself?"

"Well, I... it's been seven years, I..."

"So you don't even remember talking to the defendant's colleagues at work?"

Greg was getting nervous as he was sitting in court, trying to defend his own work from a few years ago. He felt everyone's eyes fixating on him as he was desperately looking for a way to explain himself. "I know I did it."

"Are you sure? Maybe your colleague did it for you. You were, after all, new to the job at the time."

"I wasn't new, I had plenty of experience already." Getting cocky sure didn't help him now, but that was his way of dealing with being cornered.

"You don't remember much from that time, do you?" Wenham walked over to the bailiff to hand him some medical files. "How could you, after a vicious attack from a group of teenagers that sent you to the hospital?"

Greg looked surprised at the attorney. The case they were revisiting right now was one of the last cases Greg had been working on before getting beat up. There were quite a few memory lapses before and after the beating and he found it very hard now remembering any details about that case. "N-no, I-I... This... this didn't influence my work performance at all, I..."

"Really? Because you came back to work quite quickly, didn't really give yourself much time to recuperate."

"I was feeling fine, so..."

"But maybe you weren't. Maybe you were still tremendously disabled by the horrific beating. Maybe that's why you don't remember talking to Ms. Grace's colleagues. Maybe that's why you don't remember interrogating her." Greg was trying real hard to remember that interrogation. He was back to work three days when he interrogated her together with Warrick. He remembered doing it, but not what was said. "Is it possible, Mr. Sanders? That the severe hits on your head and face caused this memory gap?"

* * *

"Hey, how'd it go?" Nick asked with a smile on his face as he walked up to Greg in the lab's hallway.

"How'd it go?! I tell you how, the D.A. really screwed up this time!" Greg replied, angrily walking on.

"What do you mean?" Greg had kept his memory problems a secret, Nick didn't know they were relevant in the case.

"Our suspect wasn't the one on trial, **I** was!"

"N-Now hold on, Greg." Nick grabbed his arm to keep him from walking. "What do you mean by that?"

Greg sighed deeply. "This trial was about how much I could've messed up instead of how guilty she was."

"But wasn't this a pretty clear case? She didn't have an alibi, you found incriminating DNA at the scene, her fingerprints on the gun... No signs of self-defense..."

"I know! But they're questioning her missing alibi right now and claim me and Warrick pressured her into a confession. Can you believe that?!" Greg started walking again, but Nick stopped him.

"Well but you told them that you didn't, right?" When Greg didn't answer, but instead put a weird face on, Nick went on, "No, come on, man! Warrick would've never done that!"

"Of course not."

"Then why didn't you tell them?"

Greg contemplated telling his friend for a moment, but then instead rolled his eyes annoyed. "I hate lawyers! This guy was such an annoying know-it-all."

"...You don't remember, do you?"

Greg stared at Nick. "W-what?"

"Sorry, I know you didn't want anybody to know so we played along."

"...We?"

"Yeah. Grissom, Catherine... all of us, actually. The doctor told Grissom, he told us because he feared it might influence your work..."

Greg interrupted him. "But it didn't!"

"...Wow, calm down. I didn't say it did. But you picked up pretty much right where you left off when you came back to work. Grissom needed us to know that there might be things you wouldn't remember. It wasn't nearly as bad as the doctor made it out to be."

"...What do you mean?"

Nick shrugged. "Well, we imagined you might forget how to run certain tests or something, we kept an eye on you the first few weeks. But all you seemed to have forgotten were little unimportant details."

"...Like what?"

Nick thought about it for a moment. "I remember Warrick saying you wanted to go talk to your suspect's colleagues but had done this a few weeks before, anyway."

"...God dammit!" Greg exclaimed annoyed as he walked into the break room.

"What's the big deal?" Nick followed behind.

"The big deal is that they're trying to get that woman out of prison and they have a pretty good chance with Warrick obviously unable to testify and me not knowing anything!"

Nick nodded. "I see. But you have proof that you talked to her colleagues, don't you?"

"Kind of. Her colleagues back my story up, but I'm not very convincing if I don't even remember things like that. They'll try to discredit my whole work."

* * *

Russell asked Greg to meet him in his office. The young CSI had a hunch that he wanted to talk about the court date. "So how'd it go?" Russell asked, offering Greg a seat.

He sat down. "Horrible," he replied with a sad smile. "But I bet you already know that."

Russell smiled. "I do. And I want you to know that I hate what I'm about to do, but... I need to put you on paid leave."

"...What? Why?"

"Because as long as this court dilemma isn't solved, I can't have you work any cases."

"What are you talking about? This is a case from seven years ago, whatever they say..."

Russell interrupted him. "They're trying to prove that you're still having difficulties remembering. I know Ethan Wenham, he's a very... talented and ambitious lawyer. He'll take a look at every case you've ever worked on, trying to find the littlest mistake you made. He'll blow it out of proportion, causing the jury and the judge, maybe even the D.A., to question your credibility. Trust me, I'm doing you a favor."

Greg looked at his supervisor rather terrified. "I didn't do anything wrong."

"I know that, Greg. And I'll defend you whenever I need to. And I'll protect you any way I can, which is... in this case, pulling you off your cases."

"She's guilty, Russell. She did it, she told me so seven years ago. There was enough evidence for a judge and jury to believe it. Denham will go as far as to endanger my job to get this murderer out of jail?"

Russell nodded. "People like him would probably sell their own mother for the right amount of money. Go home, try to relax. This will be over soon."


	2. Chapter 2

**I'm glad you guys like the story! Off to chapter 2, then!**

* * *

Greg went home rather disappointed and confused. He didn't understand how this could put his job in danger in any way. He didn't think it was fair.

After trying to unwind by watching some TV, there was a knock at the door.

"Hello Mr. Sanders. My name is Scott Ribeiro and I'd like to ask you some questions."

"...I'm sorry, who are you?"

"I'm writing a story about Nancy Grace. I'd like you to answer me some questions about the case."

Greg stared at the journalist's I.D. Ribeiro was holding up. He needed a moment to grasp the situation.

"In your profesional oppinion, do you think she did it?" the journalist asked while holding up a recorder.

* * *

"I'm fine, Russell! This is ridiculous!" Greg was anxiously walking up and down in a doctor's waiting room.

Russell's eyes followed him. "It's the only way to ensure you really are fine. You can get back to work if this doctor gives his okay."

"...If? What, you think there's a chance he won't?"

Russell rolled his eyes over Greg's sensitivity at the moment. "Of course not. You're doing a great job, you know that."

Greg sighed. He finally sat down next to Russell. They sat together in silence for a few minutes until Greg got called into the doctor's office.

* * *

Almost an hour later, Greg walked back out into the waiting room with a relieved smile on his face, sitting down next to Russell again. "He says I have nothing to worry, my memory's fine."

Russell patted him on the back. "That's great. I'll get the report to the D.A. I'll let you know when you can come back to work." Russell got off his seat.

Greg kept seated. "Wait, what? I thought I could go back to work today."

"No, you'll have to wait for the D.A. to give us the green light."

"...But I'm fine, we have proof of that."

Russell shook his head. "Denham could question it, you know how these things work."

* * *

Greg had to be back in court again. Denham really was ambitious and tried everything to get his client free. "It's too bad, isn't it? That we have to rely on your... rather unreliable memory and can't ask your friend and colleague Warrick Brown anymore..." Denham looked at Greg, waiting for an emotional outburst, but instead got called out by the judge. Greg kept his cool. It wasn't the first time he had to go up against a lawyer like Denham. He knew how to play this game. "...Sorry, let me rephrase. Did Warrick Brown's... personal problems interfere with his work?"

"No," Greg replied with an annoyed look on his face.

"Are you sure? He was supposed to guide you."

"And he did a good job at it."

Denham smirked. "We received your medical report, stating that your memory is fine now. We're glad to hear that, Mr. Sanders. It's soothing to know your current cases are being handled with care."

Greg just looked at the lawyer, wondering what would follow.

"Too bad you didn't tell anyone about your troubles seven years ago. We don't have any reports describing how severe your memory impairment was back then."

Greg sighed.

"Why didn't you tell anybody?"

Greg looked at the D.A. and the judge. Neither one objected to this question. "Please answer, Mr. Sanders," the judge said.

"Because there was no need to. It didn't impair my work in any way. I made sure to write everything I needed to remember down."

"Do you still have these notes?"

"No, of course not, I..."

Denham chuckled. "Why not? Weren't they relevant for your cases?"

"Everything relevant for my cases is in the files."

* * *

"What? Come on, Russell!" Greg exclaimed annoyed, walking up and down his supervisor's office.

"I'm sorry, Denham wants an independent doctor to examine you." Russell stored away some books while he listened to Greg's rant.

"It's really not fair. I didn't do anything wrong. I mean, I know I should've told someone about this earlier, but I didn't felt it was necessary to do so..."

Russell nodded.

"I should've just said I remembered and leave it at that."

"You can't lie in court, it's a good thing you didn't."

"I'm starting to think it's not. I mean, how could they have proved me wrong?"

"Greg, there's a reason you didn't lie. You know this could've gotten you in much bigger trouble."

"Did it? Because I could lose my job, you said it yourself!"

Russell shrugged. "That was before the doctor's report. Now I think the worst that could happen is I.A. reviewing some of your cases. Which wouldn't be a problem, right? We have nothing to hide."

"No, but still..." Greg walked towards the door. "This is the last doctor, right?"

"Let's hope so." Russell smiled at him.

* * *

"Mr. Sanders!" Scott Reibero, the journalist who went to Greg's home a few days ago, walked up to him as Greg stepped out of the lab.

"...I'm not answering any of your questions. Leave me alone."

"Maybe because you can't remember anything about this case?"

Greg was getting irritated by the whole case, but this journalist was really pushing him. "Let me see that I.D. again."

Reibero briefly flashed it. "Tell me something about the circumstances. How did you lose your memory?"

"I didn't lose my... Show me your I.D. again so I can actually see it."

Reibero was getting defensive. "Look, if you don't want to answer any questions, fine. I'm only trying to help!"

Greg raised an eyebrow. "Who are you really? You're not a reporter, right?"

Reibero looked away rather nervously. "I'll call you later, maybe then..."

Greg grabbed his arm. "Leave me alone, alright? Whoever you are, whatever you're doing... Stop it."

* * *

Greg walked back inside the lab and sat down in Russell's office. "What are you still doing here?" the supervisor asked surprised.

"I was just harassed by someone claiming to be a reporter."

"...What do you mean?"

"This guy knocked on my door yesterday, trying to ask me some questions. He must've waited outside the lab today. He asked again and got nerous when I wanted to see his I.D. I don't think he's a real reporter."

Russell frowned. "Who do you think he is?"

Greg shrugged his shoulders. "I think he's working with Denham, trying to make me nervous or something."

"Well... does it work?"

Greg chuckled. "For a moment, it did."

Russell sat down on his desk as he looked at Greg. "I doubt that there's even one CSI who didn't come across a lawyer like Denham at least once in their life. They all overcame it and so will you."

Greg gave his boss a faint smile. "I'm not so sure about it. I mean, he does have a point. I didn't even recognize the suspect when I saw her in the hallway. I don't remember any details about that case."

"It was a tough time for you, that's why you didn't work on your cases solo for a while, right? Grissom was looking out for you and it will pay off now."

"...What do you mean?"

Russell sighed. He didn't really want to say it out loud because he wasn't sure how Greg would react, but he hoped that any kind of solace would help him now. "This wasn't your case. You weren't responsible back then. If they find any... anormalies or something, they'll have a hard time blaming you for it."

"...So they'll slander Warrick's name?"

Russell nodded. "I suspect that this will be Denham's next move."

"...The reporter guy did ask me about Warrick..."

"I know it's not much consolation, but... you might be off the hook."

* * *

Russell's hunch proved to be right the next monday. Denham was trying to rip Warrick's carreer apart and with the way the deceased CSI's life tragically ended, it was quite easy for him to make the jury believe that Warrick was a careless, bad CSI.

"This is ridiculous," Nick whispered to Greg as the two were watching the trial.

"I know... I feel like I should do something about this," Greg replied with worry in his voice.

"Unfortunately, you can't." Nick got off his seat. "But I can't bare listening to this any longer, I'm sorry..." Nick left the court room. Greg felt like leaving, too, but he figured he owed it to Warrick to stay.


	3. Chapter 3

**Last chapter already! **

**I really hope you enjoyed this short story! :) More to come soon!**

* * *

Two days later, Greg stormed into Russell's office shaking out of fury and fear. "Why didn't you tell me?!" he yelled at a confused supervisor.

"...Slow down. What's wrong?"

Nick heard the yelling, as well as everybody else in the lab, so he walked into the office and closed the door. "You guys might wanna keep it down, everybody can hear you."

"I could've prepared myself if you'd told me, Russell!"

"...Told you what?" He put his hand on Greg's shaking hand. "Sit down and take a deep breath. What happened?"

Greg did, but it didn't really calm him down. He stopped yelling, though. "You didn't tell me that Denham's doctor was a psychiatrist."

Russell raised his eyebrows. "I didn't know."

"A psychiatrist?" Nick asked frowned. He had a feeling where this was going.

Greg nodded, repressing the tears that wanted to fall down his cheeks so badly.

Russell released a deep sigh. "So what happened?"

"Well let's just say my memory isn't our main problem anymore." Greg wasn't too eager to tell the whole story. He was acting quite aggressive towards the psychiatrist and wasn't proud of it. "I'm done! There's no way I'll ever be allowed to work as a CSI!"

"...That bad?" Nick asked surprised. He knew talking to therapists wasn't one of Greg's strength. His own psychiatrist, Dr. Reyes, was the only one he trusted anymore.

"So you reacted badly on some of the questions? ...Concerning the Novak case?" When Greg nodded with a sad face, Russell went on, "Look at me." He gave him a soft smile. "You think I let my guys handle any cases without ensuring they're capable of doing it? Don't you remember the department's shrink evaluated you before you could come back to work?"

Greg thought about it for a moment. "...She did."

"I made sure you were fit to come back to work. So you acted out with Denham's doctor. You didn't assault him or anything, did you?"

Greg chuckled as tears started rolling down his face. "Of course not."

"So you're fine, don't worry. It's irrelevant to the case, anyway, he can't use it against you in court. Now what's more important is how you reacted to the questions concerning the case. How'd that go?"

Greg shrugged. "Good, I guess..."

"Well then, he shouldn't even have asked you about Novak. He obviously did this to get a reaction from you." Russell's eyes wandered over to Nick. "How about you go buy Greg coffee to calm his nerves a little while I take care of this?"

* * *

Greg and Nick sat in a diner near the lab in uncomfortable silence. Greg wasn't really in the mood for small talk. He sipped on his coffee with a worried look on his face. "You know..." he finally said, "I'm really scared." A few months ago Greg wouldn't have been able to express his feelings that openly, but Dr. Reyes did a great job. "I feel like this is totally out of my hands. I'm powerless. I might lose everything for something that happened seven years ago. It's not fair. It's scary and unfair."

"You got to have faith in Russell. He said he was gonna take care of it and he will."

"How? I don't see a way out of it. I screwed up. I didn't tell anyone that I had trouble memorizing things and I went back to work anyway. Just like I came back to work after the Novak ordeal although I sure wasn't ready back then."

Nick looked a bit surprised. It was the first time he heard Greg confess he wasn't ready to come back to work back then. He was proud of his friend. "I've seen you after the beating, Greg. You handled it in a way I'm not sure I could've. So you could've needed a few more weeks off, so what? You handled it, anyway. Be proud of that."

Greg gave Nick a sad smile. "I doubt that will work with Denham."

* * *

Greg couldn't bear sitting in the court room when the vedict got delivered, he made sure to stay as far away as possible. Russell and Nick knocked on Greg's door. They were in the court room and wanted to tell Greg what happened.

Greg opened the door with a worried look on his face. "...So?" he asked with a shaky voice.

"Nancy Grace lost," Nick said with a big grin on his face.

"...Really?" Greg asked surprised as he let his colleagues inside. "What happened?"

"I made sure that Denham couldn't use anything you said to that psychiatrist that didn't have anything to do with the case seven years ago in court. And since you didn't tell him anything that indicated you had some psychologically grounded memory lapses, he couldn't prove any wrongdoing on your part. Or Warrick's, for that matter. I.A. investigated this and a few of your cases around that time and found nothing suspicious. Denham wasn't able to prove Grace's alibi. And her confession... There were details in there she couldn't have known if she wasn't guilty. Her plead got rejected and that's that," Russell explained with a big smile on his face.

Greg sat down on the couch in relief. "Wow. I mean, I really didn't expect this... I was trying to prepare myself to... You know, I... I don't know what to say."

Nick patted his back. "Don't say anything, just come with us. You can buy us lunch to celebrate!"

"Sure," Greg chuckled as he got off his seat. "So that's it? No surprises, Denham won't find a way to get her out and... me out of my job?"

Russell shook his head. "No. Your job's safe, don't worry."

Greg had a big, relieved smile on his face. He loved his job and planned on doing it for years to come. With this verdict, there was nothing standing in the way of that plan anymore.

* * *

**Ende.**


End file.
